We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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