oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
