ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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