his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
