She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
