im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Fuck appropriateness.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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