Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
