i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
