he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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