Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
