I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
