So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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