I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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