I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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