3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
