the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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