After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
