all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is Oprah even human
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize