He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
