Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
