I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
