So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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