as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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