I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
