Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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