I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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