He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize