Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
