If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
