we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize