You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
