we're blogging at a bar
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
