I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize