i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
