well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
