I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize