she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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