I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
