when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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