unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't turn off my feet"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
