By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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