i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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