idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
