You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
