Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
