I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
