I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
