I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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