we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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