tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
