Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
