Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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