That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
