I wish I could teleport
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You left your underwear on the fireplace
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
