woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We just shotgunned beers for America
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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