I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
