Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
