Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize