He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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