their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
