We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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