He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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