Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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