Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
