I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
