high people should be assigned attendants
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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