omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
